Rest in peace, Kwabara
by Rae of Rosemary
Summary: Kwabara's death. Sad, but I tried my best to keep it in charachter.


[Disclaimers: I hate to admit it, but I don't own any of these characters. *cries* The story itself is mine, however. (Don't worry; you'll get over it.) If I could give a tip: Don't just read it, read it slowly and picture it in your mind, and add the Yu-Yu Hakusho sad background music in your mind and it'll help give you the full effect of what I meant this to be like. Millennia, I made this a tear jerker on purpose, if you don't at the least consider crying, I swear I'll thump you hard enough to turn you into the hobbit you claim to be. Feedback is encouraged. Smiles! -Ishizu]  
  
I woke up suddenly, sensing that something was wrong. What was it? I tried to sit up, but my arms felt like lead, and a small spot in the center of my chest burned like fire. I tried to call for Urameshi or Shizuru, but my tongue felt thick and the words came out as a soft moan. "He's awake." I heard someone say, and a moment later Hiei, Urameshi, and Kurama were standing above me. Kurama looked sad, Urameshi, half upset and half mad, and Hiei was as impassable as always. I heard someone sobbing softly in the background.  
"I'm sorry, Kwabara." Said Kurama softly "I tried to heal you, but you've gone too far. I can't do it. I'm sorry." He finished with a whisper. I saw a single tear fall from the corner of his eye. "It's ok." I said thickly. My words were jumbled, but they became clearer when I slowed down and forced my self to say them properly. "You tried. Thank you. Now will someone please tell me what happened?"  
"You got shot." Said Urameshi softly. "Not on a mission to save the world, not by some powerful demon we fought, just against some asshole at the mall. Damnit, Kwabara," He cried, slamming his fist into his palm, voice slightly choked with unshed tears, "Why the hell do you have to be such a hero? Nobody expected you to." His voice dropped to a whisper. "You weren't supposed to die yet. Not yet. Not before me." He began to cry, softly. I was startled. I had rarely, if ever, seen Urameshi cry. He wasn't the type to cry. Good thing I knew him so well. "Shut up, Urameshi." I replied. "Just shut up. I ain't going nowhere till I beat you good, once and for all. Got it? Now stop your blubbering. You're making the rest of us look bad. Got it?" To my relief, he smiled, if bitterly. There. I had accomplished something. Hiei said nothing. I focused my eyes to where I could see his aura. It was dull and cloudy where it usually raged, betraying his calm exterior. He was upset that I was dying.  
"Hey, shrimp." I said gruffly. He looked at me. "What do you want, bozo?" He snapped back. I jerked my head to the side, indicating come closer, and was promptly rewarded with a searing pain in my skull. But he moved, so I could talk to him with out the others hearing. "Take care of Yukina for me." I said quietly. "I know she's you're sister. Boton accidentally let it slip, so you watch out for her, ok? And the guys. Urameshi's strong enough, but he's stupid as everything. Make sure the idiot doesn't get himself killed, ok?" He stood back up and gave me a quick nod. "See you in the next life, bozo." I grinned. "You got it, shrimp."  
I laid my head back down and closed my eyes for a moment. I was so tired, but was starting to feel rather light. For the first time, I fully comprehended that I was dying. I was never going to get married, never going to have kids, I would probably never see my friends again, and- this hurt the worst- I would never save another person. Never play with another kitten, never fight another demon, and never protect my family again. I don't want to go, I realized. It hurt me in my soul, brought forth a rush of agony. I didn't want to give up everything I had worked so hard for. But I didn't get a choice, I realized, and that hurt even more than anything else. I blacked out for a moment then found my self hanging above them. My soul had departed. I was dead.  
Boton floated next to me on her oar, silent, allowing me to watch the scene before me. Kurama reached out and put his hand to my neck, checking for a pulse. "He's gone." He said softly. Urameshi slumped to the floor suddenly, but didn't shed anymore tears. I think he was shocked. A sudden wail of protest caught my attention. Yukina and the other girls were sitting there. Shizuru was sitting there in a state of silent shock. Keiko was crying softly. Hiei crossed the room to Yukina. He laid a hand on her shoulder. She threw her arms around him and sobbed into his chest, the 'clink-clink' of her tears hitting the ground only making it worse. Hiei gently stroked her hair, the only sign of affection he had ever shown anyone.  
"Well met and farewell, my friend," murmured Kurama. "May mother earth embrace you." A rose appeared in his hands. After looking at it for a moment, about half the thorns retracted. He arranged it carefully in my hand.  
"Here." said Hiei. Kurama looked at him. He silently accepted the chain Hiei gave him. On it dangled two tear-gems: one as black as the night, one as white as winter's first snow. Kurama wound the chain around my wrist, placing the gems in my palm.  
"Are you ready, Kwabara?" asked Boton beside me. I looked down at my friends helplessly. "No! Isn't there something I can do? Like Urameshi? Well, isn't there?"  
""No." she said softly. "Not this time. I'm sorry."  
"This is stupid!" yelled Urameshi. "You're not supposed to die! It's supposed to be me! Why did you have to jump in? WHY? It was supposed to be me!" His words faded out and he started to sob. Keiko came over and put his head against her, taking comfort in each other.  
"Boton, why did I have to die?" I asked.  
"You died because you wanted to." She replied quietly. "You gave your life for Yuske's because you thought it was worth it. It's just who you are."  
"But I don't want to die! I just didn't want Urameshi getting hurt."  
"It's the same thing." she said softly.  
My memories rushed forth: Yuske avenging me against Rando, Boton caring for me at the World Martial Arts tournament, the guys and I holding each other's backs against demons of all shapes and sizes. They had done so much for me, and I, I had always been the incompetent one, more of a hassle than a help. And now they cried for me? Why? What had I ever done to deserve their friendship?  
"You were loyal to them." said Boton. I had spoken aloud. "You were the one who was always there, the one who could always be counted on to support them. Even though you weren't the strongest of the group, when they really needed you, you pulled through. You changed them, subtly, a little bit at a time. Look. Yuske hasn't stolen anything in forever, Hiei openly shows affection for his sister, and Kurama no longer hides his thoughts behind that sad smile, but talks about them. That's you, Kwabara. That's what you've done for them."  
I looked again. It was true. Tough-as-nails Yuske Urameshi was crying openly, Shy, quiet Kurama who was afraid of all girls hugged Shizuru close to him, and the smart-ass, cocky little fire-demon Hiei now held back tears visibly, stroking Yukina's hair and rubbing her back to sooth her. "You mean I'm the reason they're all like they are now?"  
"Yes."  
"Boton?"  
"Yes?"  
"Are they going to be ok when I'm gone?"  
She thought about it, choosing her words with care. "Yes, I believe they will. They'll never stop mourning for you, but they'll be alright."  
We sat in silence for a long time after that, keeping our own thoughts to ourselves. Slowly the loved ones below us calmed themselves and steadied their nerves. Yukina never lost her grip on Hiei's hand.  
I saw suddenly into the future. I'm not sure if it was a dream or a premonition or simply my imagination playing tricks on me, but there it was. Yuske and Keiko, Kurama and Shizuru, Yukina and Hiei all sat round a table next to each other, all about 9-10 years older than they were now. On the table in front of them was a game board and some stone pieces. Yuske and Keiko seemed to be winning. "Alright, alright!" Kurama conceded. "You guys win." He pulled out his wallet and handed a few bills to the couple. A small snapshot fell out. Kurama picked it up and looked at it. It was a small picture of me, looking dumb from a candid moment when he had pulled a camera on me. He looked at it for a moment with his small, sad smile, and Shizuru reached over and gently squeezed his hand, returning the smile. With out a word he replaced the picture and went back to the game.  
In that moment, I knew they were truly going to be Ok, that what Boton told me was true. They would be fine.  
"Boton?" I said quietly.  
"Yes?"  
"I'm ready." 


End file.
